Thursday, February 17, 2005

BAD BAD BAD.

15 règles simples pour traiter BECK de teinture.

 These are the hardest of times friends, and McCarthyism is around the dover corner. So, let us examine the lowest of the low. No, not Jeff Goldblum (in fact, he looks shit hot in an "I'm a pepper" T!) but Beck Hansen, you were born, and YOU WILL DIE BY HORSE!

If you interview Beck Hansen you will probably be monitored and may have to agree not to discuss his controversial personal life. Keep the following in mind:

1. Beck is relatively uneducated. He has just an eighth grade education, and most of this education seems to have been in manipulation.

2. Beck is likely unaware of much of the "wog" world around him. Beck will most likely not be able to discuss the elections, the war, or the economy. He may never even have voted, his primary purpose in life is to raise money for sex.

3. With the exceptions of his publicist and his manager, Beck's legal and personal work is most likely conducted by handlers.

4. Every aspect of Beck's life may have been revealed during an interview: his sexual thoughts and activities, his feelings about other people, any crimes he may have committed or illegal drugs he may have used is all carefully recorded in a computer data base.

5. If you engage Beck in a conversation about beer, he may be ordered to stay away from you. He may also be disciplined in some way. Beck is discouraged from even thinking about personal problems.

6. Beck is a snitch.

7. At a moments notice Beck may "disconnect"-that is, to sever all contact-from his own wife, parent, or child; he would have to do so and never see or speak to that person again. This disconnection policy is strenuously enforced.

8. Beck opposes all psychiatric treatment and authorizes representatives of Industrial light and magic to prevent such, and instead forcibly place him in green screen. Locked up in isolation, even against his will, and rarely spoken to; he is not permitted contact with family, friends, or loved ones, and may be denied appropriate medical care.

9. If you criticize Hanukkah, Malus's law, or his hairstyle he may become irate. He has been trained to attack you verbally and dismiss all your claims as lies and religious bigotry. It has been widely reported that an Beck believes it is OK to lie to the common public about anything.

10. Beck lives in an altered mental state. His ability to think critically has been severely diminished by brainwashing, hypnosis, and coercive handling techniques.

11. To Beck, illness is a sign of weakness or failure. Accordingly, he believes everything from dyslexia to HIV/AIDS can be cured by "two turn tables and a microphone"

12. Beck will most likely never again donate another song to cure Autism. It is possible that Beck's participation in the Asian tsunami relief concerts is a public relations move and only that.

13. Adam Green of the Moldy Peaches admitted that Beck pressured him to visit Australia, but Green declined. Beck's mother-in-law, Gay Ribisi, is hot...no really check her out. She's in Australia.

14. As a celebrity Beck can have his yard maintained, his home cleaned, his meals cooked, his child babysat, etc. for free. People like you and I work long hours, seven days a week, for little or no pay. If they have children they are warehoused virtually unattended in crowded, filthy back rooms and are seldom held, spoken to, fed good meals, or washed and rarely receive medical care. They are typically not even given toys to play with.

15. Beck's moral views conflict greatly with those of the all major world religions. In his music he teaches people that they are not responsible for the condition of the world. He also calsl Jesus a "lover of young boys" and proclaim that Mohammed "invented" the Muslim religion to stimulate trade in his hometown.


Combine Harvester9:18 PM

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